Oh the smell

Three toddlers in diapers, two of them are teething. One of those two is being introduced to new foods.

There is shit everywhere!

I have probably wiped more poopy butts in the last four days than I have wiped my own in my entire life. It's like an assembly line of wieners and poop.

Tomorrow they will either have a potty duct taped to their asses, or wearing grocery bags like pants...





Just kidding

Hooooollly Shit... Where have I been?

Well, I am back by popular demand!!!

Over TWO YEARS later...

Yeah that's my bad, I guess life just really got a hold of me.

I may be a little rusty, so I will just give a re-cap of what has happened since then.

As many of you know we were stuck in the god forsaken state of Idaho.

 

 

That pretty much sums up our time being held captive by the wonderful judicial system. Never again will I move back to that black hole shit hole of a state.

 

In April 2012 things started to change. Paxon, Guss, and myself were given the go ahead(OK more so just Paxon) to move to Washington State. 9 months and THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS later. Holy shit, the most expensive move of my life. But totally worth it for our happiness.

 

 

On May 7th 2012, Paxon celebrated his first birthday. Surrounded by his family

 

 

So let me tell you...

A walking one year old is completely different from an immobile baby.

COMPLETELY.

This kid was into everything. He was constantly falling and getting hurt, I started to think I should get him a helmet.

 

Then came the talking. And oooohhh boy is that fun.

 

Anyhoo.

 

Throughout the last year we have had our ups and downs. We had a blast getting to spend time with my best friend, Travis, who I have known now for 13 years. And am so glad he is around to keep me sane when I need it. That shithead really has helped me through a bunch.

 

We went to our first(and second) Mariner's games, and now we are absolutely hooked. And cannot wait for the Mother's Day Game this year.

 

We had so much fun through the year spending time with family, which we really had been lacking on due to living in the shithole(see above)

 

Paxon and his bestie, Hagen, were Garth and Wayne for Halloween. And their costumes were so funny you may piss yourself laughing.

 

That's right, we are those mothers that do shit like this to our children. But as you can see, it was totally worth it.

 

We met so many new people throughout the year and made such good friends. Big shout out the the May Moms for being great drinking/party animals :) See below post about how awesome a group of strangers can be. Especially if you move close enough to some of those crazy bitches :)

 

In November I was invited to a "parents weekend" with my two besties. Scared?? So was I at first.

We had a blast, and it was so good to be able to spend time with them without our kids. Don't get me wrong, I love all of those poopheads, but sometimes a break to get your head on straight is definitely needed.

My birthday came. And went. My now ex(wow is that a story for anyone interested) took me to Downtown Seattle and we had a really good time. It was nice to actually celebrate for a chance.

Christmas came, and Paxon of course was showered with gifts. We had a bigger family at that point(We were living with my boyfriend at that point, so Paxon got to celebrate three Christmas'. Four if you count the one at his dads, but I have no idea what the hell happened there)





Yes, that's a bitchin turtleneck for those who were curious.

 

 

Paxon started doing overnight visits with  his dad, which was tough at first, but really the best thing for him.

 

 We got to go to Texas to see my grandpa in January, which in turn means Paxon got to meet his great grandpa. It was an awesome trip, and I got to see one of my old friends Katie C, who I hadn't seen in almost 6 years.

 

 And then Nick came in February. Holy fuck balls how great it felt to see him. It was awesome to have him, my brother, and I all reunited. It brought back so many memories, and really made me miss the good ole days. It also made me realize how much we have all grown up. Hes got kids, I've got a kid. We are fucking adults now. When the hell did that happen????

 



 

And then March came.

 

Oooohhh March 2013. How you changed things :)

 

March brought wonderful things into my life. March brought my best friend back. That asshole decided a few years ago to move to a different state, much farther away from me. And well I couldn't leave the black hole vortex shit hole.

Some things really never change. And if it wasn't for her than I wouldn't have gotten through the month of April.

Katie moved the beginning of March. I drove the 2+ hours to her house two weeks in a row, and then she came up to me. There was a few more trips added in there, and Paxon and I even went and stayed for 5 days in the second week of April.

This is where BOTH of my best friends have helped keep me sane.

Without getting into complete details and compromising anything I will try and give the most info I can.

One night in April, some shit went down. And honestly, no matter how you look at it, I am very lucky to be alive(big shout out to the homie that called the police, then sat with me and held my hand for as long as I needed). She listened to me try and scream my story to her through tears and complete heartbreak. She was on top of everything when I was in the emergency room the next morning, while packing our entire life up and moving within a matter of hours, and while I was back in the emergency room the same evening. (its amazing what can knock a kidney stone loose)

If you, or anybody you know, is a victim of domestic violence please SPEAK UP!!! Nothing will ever change or stop if the silence is not broken. It is NEVER OK for anyone to put hands on you. (There will be another post later about the real honest affects of domestic violence. I suggest bringing tissues)

 

 

Continuing on about how awesome my besties are. They let me come AGAIN(which was just DAYS after I had left after staying 5 days) and let us stay 4 more. It was normal. We needed normal. We needed to try and forget about what had happened. But every head turn, swallow, and look in the mirror was a big reminder.

 

 

Days after we get home, I am rushed to the ER. AGAIN. The day before I was in extreme pain and my Dr refused to give me another CT scan because of how much radiation I was exposed to in the last months. Three of which were the week before after the assault. Turns out the kidney stone had grown in size, and was over 1cm in diameter. Which means it was bigger than a cheerio. And it was blocking my urethra. You can only imagine that pain. It was worse than labor and a csection recovery. I was given CT #7, and then immediately transferred via ambulance to another hospital.

 

Let me just say this. Thank god for morphine pumps. I would have probably ripped my own face off with the amount of pain I was in. The next day I had surgery to place a stent in my kidney and to blast my stone. The second I was out of recovery I was walking around and ready to go home. Ready to see my boy. I missed him so much.

 

So what do I do after I get out of the hospital? Detail my car. Big mistake lol. I dropped Paxon off at his dads later that night and hauled ass to Oregon to spend a few more days with my bestie. Priorities right?

 

So now it is officially two weeks since my surgery. And tomorrow I get my stent removed. The nurse said it is a "simple procedure" SIMPLE FOR WHO??? YOU??? Because to me the definition of simple isn't having a scope and a pair of tongs shoved up my urethra(those crazy bastards told me to come un medicated.. Helllo.. Are you high on cat shit?) and then having a third item pulled out. Holy.Fuck. My urethra is in a complete pucker just thinking about it.

 

 

So there. That's the recap as to what has happened. Now I get to think of fun posts, because I am no longer in a custody battle, so I don't have to worry about sounding like the person I'm not. So be prepared for a lot of swearing and you may want to put on some depends, because shit is about to get real.