Rule #1
The old lady that you just cut off for that parking spot needs it a whole lot more than you do. Get off of your fat lazy butt and park towards the back of the parking lot. The exercise wont kill you I promise. Save the spots up close for older people and people with children. A two minute walk to and from the store really isn't as bad as it sounds
Rule #2
USE THE RULES OF THE ROAD!!!
Would you drive your car on the left side of the road during rush hour traffic? You wouldn't? THEN MOVE OVER! Stay on your side of the aisle and always look both ways before you try and pass someone!
Rule #3
If you have a child over the age of 1 that starts having a meltdown, whether it be because you have missed nap time, they are hungry, or they just generally don't want to be there, don't ignore it and keep walking through the store like its no big deal. It is a big deal, not only is it rude to the other shoppers in the store, it is ANNOYING. You give the people with well behaved kids a bad reputation. Also don't try and tell me that "you cant help it when they have meltdowns." YES YOU CAN! If you know you will be shopping, make sure you don't go during nap time, make sure they have full bellies, and maybe even a snack for shopping. Keep them entertained and make it fun for them.
If you have WW3 happening in your shopping cart step out to the car for a few minutes to calm your child down. Fix whatever it is that is going on. What do you do with your shopping cart you ask? Go up to a manager and tell them you need to step out for a few minutes, if you have cold items they even have great big coolers they would be more than happy to put your cart in until you get back. Trust me they do it, I've done it before!
This is how I always look at it: Would my mother have allowed me to do this in the store? Absolutely not. Would my mother or even my grandmother be completely mortified if they saw this happening? Of course! And as all of you know I do not have a child over the age of 1, but I do have very many rental nieces and nephews whom I've taken out on multiple occasions, plus I worked in a grocery store for two years, so not only have I done what I have described, I have helped others to do so also.
Rule #4
Pay attention to the signs that say "10(or 15) ITEMS OR LESS." You don't have to have exactly the number as designated on the sign, but if you have 5 maybe 10 items over then go to a regular check stand. This rule of course is flexible if you have multiple of the same items(yogurt, koolaid, you get the point). Just because you don't want to wait in line behind the person that has multiple carts full of groceries, does not mean you can make the person with one item wait for you.
Rule #5
If you see a cashier at the front of their check stand waiting for a customer, remember this, they are very much enjoying the few minutes of a break they can get. So don't come up and say stupid comments like "you look bored" or "looks like you could use something to do," comments like that have you coming home with squished bread and broken eggs.
Rule #6
Treat your cashier the same as you would someone serving your food. The power of a cashier is very forgotten these days. If you make one stupid or rude comment, we remember. I know MULTIPLE people that slap a smile on their face and take that out on your items. Do you ever wonder why you came home with a squished loaf of bread, broken eggs, crushed chips, bruised fruit, or a hole in the top of your yogurt? Think about it.
Rule #7
If you have a heavy item(dog food,case of bottled water, case of soda) for the love of god leave it in the cart, and ask the cashier if they can scan it for you. Would you want to pick up and move multiple 20-40 pound bags of dog food every day? Well neither does your cashier. Almost every store these days has the little hand scanners and they would be more than happy to scan it for you.
Rule #8
Put all of your items up on the belt as you want them bagged. A good rule of thumb is to organize everything as to how you put it away when you get home. I organize by boxed, canned, produce, meat, frozen, refrigerated, and then cleaning supplies. If you don't want your bread in with your canned goods, make sure you don't just throw everything up there at once.
Rule #9
If your store has a "rewards" system in place by all means take advantage of it. Do NOT stick your little advantage card in the cashiers face until they scan it, and do NOT just start rambling off your phone number at a random time. Your cashier has been extensively trained to ask you for your card, and trust me, they will!
Rule #10
If you want your items bagged a certain way, either politely ask the cashier, or go to a self checkout.
Rule #11
If you cant park close to one of the cart corrals, and you have small children that shouldn't be left in the car, I completely understand leaving your cart in front of your car. Just don't leave it in the middle of the parking space, or ram it into the car next to you. I follow a 3 parking spot maximum when it comes to taking the cart back. If the corral is more than 3 cars away, I leave it in front of my car.
So there it is. Eleven rules to help survive the holidays. Remember: If you get a shopping cart jammed into the back of your ankle... You probably deserved it :)
Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important rule of all!
Rule #12
Please Please PLEASE, do not go shopping looking like these people
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