Girls aren't supposed to kill bugs... Boys are

So one of the "perks" of having a man in your life is that you no longer have to kill bugs. Its like an unwritten rule of relationships. Then you have the single mom, who has nobody around to kill the bugs, because it is still too early to train the 6 month old baby how to do so.

Paxon has just woken up from his nap and he is just swinging away minding his own business, when I hear the god awful roar of a hornet. I know that his sperm donor is deathly allergic to bees so I immediately move Paxon out of the room. I then realize I have to kill this huge, stinging, ugly bug all by myself which I am not too excited about. I'm trying to get my plan of action set up, which is not easy because this hornet will not leave part of the ceiling that is maybe 10 feet above me.

So how does a single mom kill possibly deadly bugs you ask?

I get a chair from the dining table to bring me closer to the bug, go to the bathroom and grab my extra super extreme hold aerosol hair spray, and to the kitchen to grab the now empty paper towel roll. I would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall for this one.

I put the chair as close as I can to the hornet, and then I start sweating because I am TERRIFIED. I should have powdered my own hiney earlier when I was doing Paxon's. I stick the nozzle of my hairspray to the paper towel tube and fire away. So at that point the hornet may have been dead, or just really high from the hairspray fumes. I notice that its not moving, probably because it is glued to itself and the log it is sitting on. So I start thinking about how I am going to get this bug down and outside, because I cant reach him. So I grab a broom. I slap the hornet with it, don't see it on the log, so I take the broom outside.

I start smacking the broom on the step because I want to see this hornet, I want to make sure that I really did get him. And after ten minutes of smacking and combing the broom with a stick, still cannot find the bug. AAHHHH!! So I freak out thinking he is in the house. Couldn't find it. ANYWHERE. It is now almost 24 hours later, and I still have no idea what has happened to that hornet.

I don't know why bugs seem to like this house so much. My mom says its because of the logs. Well OK maybe that's true, but is there anyway to trick the bugs to not come in anymore? And apparently its not just bugs. Its rodents too. And by rodents I mean bats.

Now I can handle squishing a spider, slapping a fly(because Idaho is filled with these stupid little insects), taking the hairspray to a hornet, but I CANNOT handle bats. They are almost as scary as cows!

Apparently bats can squeeze their awful hideous little bodies in between the logs in the house and just... hang out... Literally. The thought of it terrifies me. I have found that doing the rap from Fern Gully really helps to overcome the fear.



That and thinking about watching John Candy and Dan Aykroyd with tennis racquet's, rain ponchos, and wicker trash bins on their heads.

I am all for women doing anything that a man can do. But insect killing, its not my thing. Its just waaay to much nature for me.