6 months ago today, I had no idea that I would end up loving another person as much as I do now. Paxon has filled my life with so much joy and happiness I could just burst at the seams.
Yes, being a single mother is hard work. Yes, I am tired most of the time. Yes, my hair and makeup isn't always done. But my child is happy, healthy, and
I feel like it has been so long since I first brought my tiny little baby home. He was just sooo little.
It is amazing how fast they grow up, and I am so glad that I took so many pictures of him.
I remember a tiny little baby, that couldn't even hold his head up, that found staying awake for more than ten minutes challenging, that couldn't even smile no matter how hard his mommy tried. His super tiny little diapers, that now couldn't even cover one of his thunder thighs. A little boy who couldn't sleep through the night. To this day at six months old, I still do not want to leave him. The longest we have ever been apart since coming home from the hospital is two hours, and that was the hardest two hours of my life. I do not look forward to having to leave him in the future, and it breaks my heart just thinking about it.
I love how his personality is showing more and more everyday. This kid really is funny.
I feel so privileged to be his mother. Even when he pees on me or sprays poop on my leg(has only done that once at a week old). I love being able to wake up next to him, and be the one to make him laugh. I love being mommy, and knowing all of his tricks and secrets. I love being there for him, when other people chose not too.
I like to think of it as mommy super powers. I think that when our children are born us mothers get a little ESP. How else could I know that Paxon is awake without hearing a noise come from the room? Or know he has a poopy diaper without smelling or checking it? Or know exactly what is wrong with him just from one little cry? I'm telling you... Its super powers... How else do you think your mom knew EXACTLY what you did wrong all of the time?
I love that we have made it six whole months breastfeeding. In the beginning it did not come easy for us. We worked and worked and worked hard to get it down. And we did! With help from nipple shields and lactation consultants, after only one month, we were shield free, and kicking butt at the tata sauce! Since then we have had some hard times. Gone through issues with my supply dropping, and him having to be supplemented with formula. But we pulled through it! And now he gets nothing but the sauce, and the pride I get just from knowing that, is overwhelming.
Everyday my boy is getting more and more independent. He can sit and play with his toys alone, or be in his jumper for up to an hour, which amazes me!!! He still loves to read his books and cuddle with mom. His favorite time of the day is still bath or shower time at night with mom, which I have no problem with :) He has found a new best friend in our dog Guss, who he loves giving kisses, petting, and letting him lick his hands.
As sad as I am to see him grow up, I cannot wait for what is to come. Before I know it he will be crawling, walking, and talking. My big boy is really growing up. And the more time that goes on, the more my pride and love for him will grow.
Happy Birthday Paxon!!! Mommy loves you!!!
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